Does anyone else get anxious when you realize you are entering the "last part" of your daily planner for the year? As in, that moment when you realize that you only have this small fraction of an inch left to accomplish the goals you set for yourself in January?
For me, it's the part to the right of the orange divider. Everything to the left is the year-to-date.Yes, it makes me anxious. It makes me want a bigger to-do-list. Subconsciously, I begin calculating how many hours I need to cut out of my sleep each night to make the rest of the year count. My throat swells up and literally, my brain starts racing with thoughts of what to do and when.
{Blessed are the anxious for they shall inherit many grey hairs... }
Even worse, I start thinking about what's undone.
You know, what I "should have" accomplished by now.
I pulled out my "Dear Future Me" letter to gauge my current status compared to my expectations.
You see, in January of this year, I wrote myself a note to be read in January of next year. In it, I had my personal goals. Some of the goals were tangible, like these: "I hope this is the year you publish a book - the first of many" and "I hope you love those kids more than ever, and that they KNOW that you love them." Some were lofty, like this one: "I hope you take time for yourself physically so you can get back in your favorite jeans." And some were borderline ambiguous, like: "I hope you've been a better friend and that you have more friends and less acquaintances" and "I hope you hear God's voice, you listen, and you follow."
I wrote down the things that I felt were important... not that I fit into my jeans, but that I made time for myself so I could fit into them. Not the number of friends, but the quality. Not spending more money on the kids, but spending more time. Yet when I look at the blank pages of the remaining year's calendar, the things I want to fill them with aren't on that letter.
Priority check time.
So many times we say yes to things that we shouldn't... for so many reasons, while the deepest desires of our hearts are swept to the wayside until we have more time. Stopping to see where we really are compared to where we think we should be is a good thing. It reminds us that not everything we're working on matters, and also reminds us that maybe we're not working on the things that do. Maybe some of the yesses need to take a back burner so other more important yesses can take front and center stage.
And often, we'll see that the deepest desires of our hearts are placed there by a loving God, just for us–filling a hole that only we can fill.
Taking the 20,000 foot picture helps to squelch some of that anxiety and helps us make sure, like Mary and Martha, that we're doing the work that is most important to God, not the work that's most important to others. Filling holes that only we can fill. He reminds us to be anxious for nothing and that the most important priorities are to love Him and love others. Everything else is bonus.
As hard as it is, let's take a look at the calendar for the rest of the year. Not with "look what all I haven't done compared to everyone else" eyes. But with "what does God want me to prioritize for the next few months" eyes. When I look at the rest of my planner with those eyes, my to-do-list focuses on the few things God has asked me specifically to do, not the 1,000 things I've assigned myself. That comes with an amazing peace, knowing I can take a good 20 or 30 things off of that list. Knowing that the one or two things He's asking me to do trump everything else - even some of the things on my "future me" letter.
I bet if you look, your calendar will be the same way. Don't be so hard on yourself. God looks at you with eyes that love you - He created you exactly the way you are for a purpose. When you're working on that purpose and becoming more like Him, you are doing exactly what you're called to do. Even if there is no checklist attached.
Don't worry friend, we can do this together. We have an amazing rest of the year left, full of joy, peace, and focused purpose. Let's get to it!
Cheering for you,
No comments :
Post a Comment