Seasons of the Proverbs 31 Woman

I've had this picture in my head for the last six months. It's a woman, and she's walking through a wheat field - breeze blowing, gauzy white cotton dress flowing. I saw her in my dreams, and I longed to be her.

Little did I know - she was longing to be me too.  

My life has been one crazy cycle of gathering and sloughing. Gathering something... and then years later, that whatever it is, is broken... shattered... sloughed. When I was in my 20's, and even early 30's, I gathered degrees. First one. Then another. And another. I gathered them like a child grabs up handfuls of m&ms. Not because they were necessary,

No One Goes To The Altar Alone

It was like an unwritten rule at my last church. No one goes to the altar alone.

I loved that about them. It was one of the first things that pricked my heart about the church when I was visiting. No matter who you were, when you went to the altar, there was always someone who followed you up there to put their arm around you and just be. It wasn't creepy, it just happened. They crossed genders, ages barriers, and races. In seven years, I never once saw someone alone at the alter. And I was never alone at the altar.

We're at a new church now. It's a great church. There is a lady that frequents the second row pew with me. Last week, she'd gone up to the altar, and that's when I realized: nobody's with her. Nobody

What God Does When We Aren't Looking

To say I work a lot is an understatement, but let's face it - who doesn't? Between work, church, recreation, birthday parties, volunteer opportunities... we barely have time to eat, let alone rest, right?

For the past week, I've been working some, resting and playing some, and attending a conference for Disney travel agents. Our family tries to take an official "family vacation" every fall, where I'm suppose to leave the laptop and cell behind, and we all rediscover what we like about each other. Except this year, the conference fell right around our family trip time, and frankly, I couldn't afford two trips so we combined them into one. On the last full day of our trip, we made zero plans. We spent the day swimming in the pool, going to our favorite quick eatery, making new friends wandering along the beach, and even swinging in the hammock.

Missed Blessings

Some of you that know me know my "God-thing" is deer. You may have a God-thing. It's something that connects you to God, gives you peace or affirmation of a decision. For my friend Denise, it's blue birds and red birds. For me, it's deer.

Ever since we moved out to a more rural area, I had been hoping to see some deer. My confirmation that we were right where we needed to be! The neighbors say they see them. You'd think they were nearby, solely based on the number of woods, lakes, and ponds we have around. But we're going on 4 months here with not a single hooved animal in site.

Then today, at lunch, I was in a rush to get to work. I'd worked until almost midnight last night, and

When You Feel Like You Can't Do It All... You Probably Shouldn't

Do you ever feel like you just can’t do it all? Like the demands of the day are more than you can possibly stand? This morning I woke up feeling seriously overwhelmed. In part due to the fact that a 4-day weekend had just passed, and rather than relax and enjoy it, I’d spent much of it working. On house projects, on cleaning out the garage so I can actually park in it someday, on a 31 Gifts party with my best customers, and even on rearranging the kids’ homeschool schedule to add a bit more content. I finished the must-to-do’s, but still have some want-to-do’s, and Lord willing, I’ll get them done tonight.

But I look around and see the house that is still messy from a sale I haven’t put products away for yet, and literally 8 loads of laundry that were in the garage from our last move that are either outgrown or a different season (which after laundering, will need to be sorted for Goodwill or put away), I look at the email of a person who wants to know why I didn’t work on their project on a holiday (I did work,

(How) God is Like a Mammogram

Today's list of things to do included laundry, taking N to football practice and oh, yes, that occasional boob-squashing event we call a mammogram.

I'm not really that old. Twenty-nine for the 2nd time? Third? (Thinking in head)... Well let's just say I'm not that old. But we have a family history, so every now and then the duty must be done.

In the doctor's office, I hop up to what we'll refer to as the smasher. A very sweet technician proceeds to apologize in advance for any pain I have to endure, and I refrain from any "but you haven't even taken me to dinner yet!" jokes even though clearly, she has hit first base.

Boob squashed? Check! But oh no, not so fast. She just keeps on clicking that dial, lowering the

The Crazy Lady Who Talks To God

Sometimes as Christians, we're taught that you shouldn't tell people you talk to God... Unless you want a one-way ticket to the funny farm, via a custom ride in a padded wagon. It's just weird. Like the homeless people in Central Park who wander around and mumble to themselves all day, or people with a nervous tick. You get labeled... put in a class of people who are somehow less intelligent, irresponsible, flightier, or naive. "Come back down to reality", they say. And while we're riding that honesty train, have you ever looked at someone because they hear from God differently than you do? I have. Before I knew better than to judge those crazies.

'Cause here's the thing. I talk to God. I talk WITH God. And I hear back. Now that's a whole new level of crazy, isn't it?

Take this morning for instance. I was awake with quiet thoughts, thinking about something I'm going

We All Have Greatness

Each year at our 31 Gifts National Conference, our leader comes up with a new theme for her team. Not only does the entire team then wear a shirt with that logo on it to identify us as belonging under the wing of our leader, but also that theme somehow ties into our businesses or lives for the year.

Last year's theme was "In the Presence of Greatness." We were to look amongst our 31 sisters for guidance and a helping hand in our own businesses, because we didn't need to look to just the higher-ups for guidance. Everything we needed, we already had among us. WE were the greatness.

Today I was lucky enough to have a 10-hour drive by myself for a business trip. While I was driving, I got to thinking about some friends, and some things I had recently learned about them. Like Alicia, who wrote and published a bible study, or Heather, who wrote a book about the space shuttle that just

You Can't Ride Two Horses with Only One Butt...

Today was an epiphany for me. Last September, I signed up to take a ballet class. I have never put on a ballet slipper in my entire life. I'm not a size two. Mind you, I can cheer, and even coached cheer, but dance? Now that's a completely different animal. My friend Nickie has a daughter who dances competitively - she's your traditional "dance mom". Nickie said "Ballet? Are you sure? That's the hardest one to learn!" But I wanted to start with ballet, because that's the dance that all other dance forms are based off of. Or so I'd heard.

God in a Box

Do you ever put God in a box? Think of him as just this way or that way, not fully comprehending the many roles he plays in our lives?

I have been in the midst of not-quite-chaos-but-so-close-to-it-it's-not-funny for so long! In a constant state of questioning God's provision, and my role in my family. It took a long time - at least the past year - to truly discover what my role and place is but when I did make that discovery it wasn't what anyone else could tell me... I treasured their advice, but ultimately the discovery had to be within me. It had to come from me. AND, it was only after I'd tried to transform our family into everyone else's idea of what would work for us. Needless to say, it didn't, but discovering that was necessary to get to the true US.

I talked to a treasured friend K about my dilemma... What does God want me to BE? What does He want for our family? Her insight was like a light switch in a dark room. I am so thankful for godly

Just when I thought I had it all together...

As a business owner who works from home, there's often a fine line between organization and clutter. We tend to look for the perfect method to ensure the resources we need are available, accessible, and don't leave your home office looking like a tornado just whizzed through. I finally found the *PERFECT* map organization tool: Tadaaaa! A shoe organizer!

Complicated? No! Does the trick? Yes! I keep all of my brochures readily available and ready to send out to my clients with every package I mail.  Each time I take a business trip to Disney (yes, that sounds funny to you, doesn't it?) I bring back plenty of maps, or so I think.  I have collateral that I send to my clients that includes overall property maps, (i.e., you are here maps) plus brochures, and park maps, along with other goody bags whenever they take a trip.  However, the park maps I can only get when I actually come to town.  I am blessed in that I usually run out of maps before my next trip, thanks to my wonderful clients.  On my last trip, in December, I made sure I was well-stocked. I thought, surely I have plenty. Surely, these will last me a good long while, right?

WRONG!!

New Maps are coming out in just a couple weeks! Well shucks, now what's a good travel agent to do? Send out old maps so they don't end up in the recycle bin? Send out new maps so you don't seem outdated and confuse the client when they get there and find the new map doesn't look at all like the map they've been studying for a week? Or send both and let them choose? Eenie Meenie Miney Mo, this map, that map, I don't know...

One thing I am SO thankful for is my next business trip - a short jaunt, just two days - is March 3rd and 4th! Coincidence? I think not!  This girl will be stocking up on new maps for my clients, scheduled to come out the first day I arrive.  I could not be more thankful, because again, I have to get them onsite!  Thank you Lord, I feel you watching over me!

Missing Christmas Puzzle Pieces...

I don't know what's wrong with me, but this year I seem to be in a Christmas "funk". Anyone else feeling that way? Normally by now, a week from Christmas Eve, I'd have had the tree up and the house decorated for the past six weeks or so, we'd have had at least one big family potluck meal, and several potlucks at work, as well as an office ornament exchange. I'd have practiced the church Christmas cantata for hours on end, and walked through the Festival of Lights with my mug of cocoa, all of which help ready my heart for Christmas. I'd have watched several friends in their own church cantatas, and felt the love of Jesus and the season overflow from my heart.

But this year, something's missing. Really, all of it's missing. To start with, we don't have our tree up. Attribute that to the fact that we've (or mostly I've) been out of town 23 out of the past 36 straight

30 days of... Oh look, a squirrel!

They came like chicken pox. First one, then two, then bam! They were everywhere. The Facebook statuses of my friends showed one after another: "30 Days of Thanks, Day 1:" followed by something they were thankful for. From spouses, children, and jobs, to homes and morning coffee.

I, on the other hand, woke up November 1st and said "Huh. Maybe I'll post something I'm thankful for every day instead of just on Thanksgiving." Of course there was no rhyme or reason to it. No predetermined end-date like they all had. Just a 6:00 am thought that I should extend my period of thanks for awhile.

I started with "Day 1: Today I am thankful for...", figuring I would go til Thanksgiving day. Somewhere around day 9 or 10 - oh look! A squirrel! - I lost the day number and just began my posts with "Today I am thankful for..." Then, somewhere around Thanksgiving Day, I decided maybe I

Sweet Spots and Goat Farming...

Someone shared an expression with me recently: you can't ride two horses with one butt. I have tried, sometimes even attempting to ride three or four at once. It begs the question, are any of the horses being ridden as they were intended?

I've been feeling ineffective lately... In case you weren't aware, I retired from job (horse?) number one on October 20th, 2012. Since that time, I've been steadily busy with horses two and three, and often find myself wondering where on Earth I even had time for horse one to begin with! Rather, I've been slowly trying to find what baseball players call "The Sweet Spot".

Granted, I'm not a baseball fan, but growing up in a big baseball town, even I know what the sweet spot is. It's the area on a bat where the ball makes the most effective contact, and goes the farthest

Casting Cares...

Twenty-four. That's the number of days I have left at my "real" job. You see, my company is making some cuts and has a need to reduce the workforce. Following God's leading, I volunteered to leave of my own accord, before I was asked to leave via layoff. I felt as if between 31 and Disney, God was allowing me the income avenues that could lead to the blessing of being more of the woman He wants me to be. To stay home with my kiddos, be a better mother and begin the writing legacy I've dreamt of - to write for the sheer love of writing, to publish and hand-deliver the magic of childhood and love of Jesus to children who, for whatever reason, were never given the chance to know that child-like wonder... to visit orphanages, childrens' homes, and YMCAs to share God's love with them through my stories... to leave the stories with them, so they will always have a physical reminder.

A Terrible Engineer

Several years ago, there was a fellow about my age that I worked with named "Tom". Tom didn't have an engineering degree, yet he was placed in an engineering position because management needed a body to fill that spot, and he had a degree... in something. I thought he did well, especially given his lack of formal training.

Management, however, did not.

They were on him constantly to perform, produce, and have expertise in many things an engineer should know. At some point early within his tenure, he got a prestigious job at a government entity. Once he left, the finger-pointing began... the name-calling, and why he didn't get this done, or that done, and how he wasn't a "good" engineer, which always bothered me because at that point, he'd never asked to be an engineer.

Recently, I had the opportunity to touch base with him. Tom, it seems, had been busy after he left us.

If You See a New Bald Spot...

I have to hand it to Apple. They’ve really spoon-fed me for years. I've had my own website for about 6 years now. And not the “Here are all our family photos for the 3 people on the planet who might be remotely interested in seeing them” website. Rather, this site was built for public consumption! Christianbedtimestories.com was built on the premise that parents need great stories to read to their children, that our society needs to return to the simple every now and then, and that children should be given the opportunity to return to childhood if even for 5 minutes at a time.

Well whadya know, my Mac just happened to have a wonderful program called iWeb, where you just type everything onto a fantastic template, drag some stuff over here, and drop in a picture over there. You hit the magical “publish” button and *poof* just like the magic in my stories, all sorts of great

Of Facebook and Potatoes

Sometimes Facebook makes me crazy. Like today. I have a friend who confided in me the problems they were having in their marriage. And then they followed that up with an updated status picture of the four-person-happy-family.  The one where it looks like everyone is in love with each other, and where no one is neglected or lonely or certifiably insane.  Ironically, I have several friends going through this, and yet, you'd never know it from the beautiful lives they seem to have.

Another friend is going through an earth-shattering financial crisis. And another through divorce. One suspects her husband is cheating. One has problems with her children. (Don't we all?) But you'd never know it based on the profiles they have.  It begs the question, "why?". Why do we put up that curtain of happiness, whilst closets full of skeletons are hiding just beyond?

Is it because on Facebook, we have so many "levels" of friends? There are acquaintances, friends,

This is all you get...

Recently I sat in a meeting with my boss. Every year at work we have to fill out a performance review – first we state how much we love (or don’t) our jobs, then we state what we think we are good at and what we feel we need to improve on, and then we have to make a “to-do” list to get ourselves on track for where the company feels we need to be.

The discussion of the hour was around my evaluation of how much I loved my job. On a scale of 1 to 5, I had given it a 2. For various reasons, but mostly because I’d been doing it for 12 years and

The road not taken...

My favorite poem of all time is Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken. Perhaps because my own life has had so many twists and turns. Perhaps because I now weigh every difficult decision (and some not-so-difficult ones as well) with what I think God would have me do. But most often it's because I don't want to relive any mistakes over. And over. And over. Not that I've done that in the past. But life's paths are so numerous - the choices almost limitless.

Sometimes I take the path of adventure, where I would have in the past been a wallflower; for all of life to me now is a bone of which the marrow of life must be sucked dry. Sometimes I take the path of cautiousness. Sometimes I wear my heart on my sleeve, or make new friends where before I would have been happy with a single friend for all of life. I see them now as wildflowers for my friend bouquet. Each one unique, and special, and adding color and variety to the bunch as a whole.

But I have to wonder about old Robert. You see, Robert spends a great amount of time looking forward. Inspecting the path, I suspect weighing the pros and cons of

Give your gift away

Once upon a time (thirty-five years ago) in a land far, far away (Arkansas), a brand new baby girl was brought into the world. Not with a silver spoon mind you, but she did come with a mop of curly strawberry-blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and more “look out world” attitude than one could ever imagine.

Unbeknownst to her, she also came with an assortment of wrapped gifts that would in fact be unwrapped little by little as life itself unfurled. She walked through life, invisible tote full of gifts slung over her shoulder. As she removed each one to give it away, she would find out more about herself in the process, and in fact, receive so much more in return than what she gave.

The first gift to give away would be companionship. The little girl was to be a companion for a woman who had known very little unconditional love and companionship in her life. Through circumstances beyond her control, the little girl would grow up with her disabled grandmother as primary caregiver. In exchange for giving the gift of her time and companionship, the little girl would have an upbringing quite different than her friends. Where her friends were watching Goonies and Molly Ringwald, the little girl would grow to love showtunes, black and white movies, Shirley Temple and Fred Astaire, and inform you that Audrey Hepburn and Katharine Hepburn are neither the same person, nor are they sisters, cousins, or mother and daughter.

The next gift the little girl would discover she had was a love for reading and writing. She would get lost in fairy